One of the many important times in the last few weeks, as we have remembered and celebrated the lives of Carol and Michelle, was the supper we shared at Carol’s house the evening after her funeral. I was so very tired. I wasn’t sure I wanted to go – much less cook it, which I had offered to do. I’m so glad I did. We were eighteen or so in the end, a number which went up and down as various friends decided they were indeed too tired to come, or that they really did need to be there after all.
Friends who had travelled to be back in L’Arche London to share their grieving with others who understood, friends from Scotland, Poland, Cambridge, Dorset, and friends from just across the road. So important to gather with the other members of Carol’s household, and to tell our stories. ‘Do you remember….?’ We’ve always said in L’Arche that telling stories is important, for all of us but especially for the community members with learning disabilities who may not be able to tell their own stories. A way of making sure that their stories are known to the young assistants who now support them in their daily lives – because some of these stories took place before the assistants were even born, but they have formed who we are today. Who we are as individuals, who and what we are as a community. I’ve rarely experienced this as strongly as in these days.
There have been many such gatherings in the past few weeks, in homes, pubs and cafes. Gatherings of eighteen friends, or just two or three. The stories have been told, with tears and laughter. Meals have been designed in memory of Carol and Michelle – fish and chips, sausage and mash. The table has been laid with ketchup and wine, for different people celebrate in different ways. And I’ve realised how privileged I am to have such a truly diverse group of friends.
Michelle and Carol, your lives were important. We will remember, and we will tell your stories. Thank you for bringing us together.
Crossing the bridge into Next 